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DO I NEED TO THANK GUESTS THAT DON'T BUY ME A WEDDING GIFT?

This is always a tough call, as generally we are only thinking of what we have spent on our wedding day making sure our guests have a killer time...


I get that you may feel upset by guests who didn’t give you a wedding gift, BUT leaving them out from your thank-you notes probably won’t make you feel much better, so should we still send them?


Well let's just consider a cost of being a guest for a moment, and the reality is, it is likely you can completely relate to this having attended many weddings yourselves.


Only the other day I was reading a Bride saying about how much her guests were moaning about how much her Hen is costing them, that she feel's she no longer wanted it. Yet the reality is, it is costing them money, something that has been and will be thin on the ground for some time with inflation.


Let's assume that they have both attended your Hen/Stag event. Without even thinking about buying new clothes (although it's likely they would), there's an expense already that goes with these events that are usually higher than the normal evening out.


So what can the costs include for a guests. I'm going from a womans perspective here and if it was me attending a wedding.



So what can the costs include for a guests. I'm going from a womans perspective here and if it was me attending a wedding.


I will want to buy a new dress so I feel good - Time/Effort/Cost

I may have to buy new shoes - Time/Effort/Cost

I may or may not have to consider a hat (according to wedding venue/style)

Do I have a handbag that matches my outfit?

I will need to go to the hairdressers away from my regular time to have a fresh hair cut or updo - Cost

You may (I know I would) need to organise dog kennels - Big cost

I may or may not have to turn down a wedding (becuase of what I do for a living) - Loss of revenue, although for many it could be a day from your valuable annual holiday

I have to go and shop for a card - Time/effort cost

I have to search for a hotel, time consuming elements that we don't see


Then there is my partner, the most indecisive person known to man

He will need to buy a new suit, but will take the day to find one - time/effort/cost

He would buy new shoes, another day out... - same again

He will need to arrange dog sitters, so now family are being put out - effort x 2


On top of that, there is the cost of a hotel. So you have picked a Saturday in the Summer holidays for your wedding day, when hotels are at their highest.... easily over £100 for a couple, or even a single occupancy. Midweek likely wont make much differnce, as that is high becuase it would be seen as that is when they get their corporate guests.

Paying for drinks, which are often expensive as venues have a captive audience That could easily come to another £100 and some when you are paying as much as £20 for a round of two drinks in London. It is only when drinks are free that gifts should be considered, but then guests don't know there is a kindly gestured free bar until they are at the wedding, so what do they do?


Your one wedding couple potentially cost a couple in excess of £500. That's without considering how much money those travelling from overseas have spent on getting to your wedding. Planes/trains/longer hotel stays etc...


It may just be that your guests have decided they’ve spent enough on your wedding already — financially, time and effort. So, I hope you can appreciate what they did for you to help you celebrate your big day without focusing exclusively on the gifts. I’d know I would like to thank them for joining you and making your day special.


Although I have one couple at the moment that has merely asked for NO gifts but if they wanted to, a donation to a charity that is close to thier hearts, and that is the most selfless request of them all.


Given that you know understand, if you didn't already, the expense your guests may have had (and this is not the sme for everybody obviously) to come to your wedding could you be a little more understanding if they don't buy you a gift?



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