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8 Top Tips for writing your own Wedding Vows in 2023

Wedding Celebrant at a Home garden marquee wedding taken by Sian Belton at Busybrides Wedding Planners

Are you getting ready this year to say ‘I Do’ to your person?

Nowadays couples are turning to wedding celebrants for celebrant led ceremonies where you can design your own vows. It is one of the most special parts of a wedding ceremony when you actualy exchanges your vows so why would you not want to make this as personal and beautiful as possible.

Promises to love and cherish each other are a beautiful way to express the love and commitment you have for one another but to make your ceremony should be uniquely you and to do that, you really need to write your own vows.

It is an incredibly personal and intimate way to express your love, but can also make your wedding ceremony more meaningful for you both, and of course your guests.

I am fullly aware that my couples can often find this hard, and you must remember it is not a competition who can write the best one or how long but you may want to agree a certainly amount of sentences just so you can keep your ceremony on track and give a smiliar feel from both sides, so here is a litle guide that will help you express your love and commitment.

So let's get started on what you need to know to make your wedding ceremony a truly unforgettable moment!

1. Brainstorm

Before you begin your vows, take some time to think about what it is you would like to say and importantly what you are comfortable saying. Write down any thoughts or memories that come to mind when you think about what you want to say or express to your partner and think about all the positive words that you could use if someone was to ask you to describe your partner in 5 words.

2. Writer’s Block

If you are struggling to know what to write then you can of course get examples of other people’s wedding vows, look at the type of things that are included and see if that can give you some ideas for what you want to include in your own vows. You can find lots of inspiration and tips online to help you.

Instead of making general promises, try to be specific about what you will do to love and support your partner. For example instead of saying “I will always be there for you” include specific examples of how you will support your partner and include personal details that are meaningful to the both of you. Such as promising to allow the other one to always choose the treats at the cinema, or the next Netflix series to binge on.

Wedding celebrant for a lovely same sex couple in Kent.

3. Making it uniquely you

You should think about bringing in your personality and your relationship. I had one couple that said, "I promise never to leave wet towels on the bed ever again", "I promise never to let the cat out when your due to go to work making you late getting them back in", and the one line that made me tickle was "I promise to say sorry in the vanishingly small number of times when I may be wrong". It is with these vows that you make your ceremony unique to you.

4. Don't rush

Try to set aside time where you can be fully focused on writing your vows – you’re likely to need to do this more than once as you might need more than one session to be completely happy with your vows. Consider what works well for you; do you find yourself able to concentrate and be more productive in a quiet setting or do you prefer some background noise? Try a few different things and see what works best for you.

5. You can keep it simple

Vows don’t have to be overly complicated or poetic. Keep your language clear and simple so that your message comes across clearly and they are easy for you to express on the day, when nerves could be a little higher than usual and importantly so that our guests can understand what you mean!

Don’t be ashamed to lean on those around you a little. Ask close friends and family to describe you as a couple or recount to you a memory they have of you both that really stands out in their minds. This could give you some great ideas and even jog your own memory or inspire you to consider a direction or a moment to include you hadn’t even thought of.

6. Funny or Romantic?

Do you want your wedding vows to be funny or romantic? Or are you going to try and add a little of both? If you’re finding it hard to strike the right balance, then just remember the most important thing is that you speak from the heart – you really can’t go wrong with this.

7. Practice! Practice! Practice!

As you write your wedding vows keep reading them out loud to yourself – how they sound as you read them in your head and how they sound out loud can be very different and once you actually hear your vows you may find that you want to change them or move things around a little bit so that they flow better. Sometimes it can twist your tongue and you may just want to tweek it. Reading your vows aloud will also help you feel more comfortable and confident when it comes times to recite them during your ceremony.

8. Be true to yourself

Finally, remember to keep it heartfelt, honest and sincere and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable or show emotion while you’re reciting them. Don't try and be a stand up comedian if that is just not you. And remember it is okay to laugh, cry or be nervous. It’s a special moment and the most important part of your day – making the promises you intend to keep to each other before you’ll commit to a lifetime of happiness together.

So what other benefits are there to having a celebrant aside from all the positives above? It potentially can save you money too. You could have a small ceremony at your local registry office (after all your registrar charges around £800-1000 to attend your venue nowadays) and yet some celebrants only charge from £450, so you could potentially save yourself a big chunk of your wedding budget that you could use on other elements of your wedding day. I personally offer a celebrant led service complimentary to my couples who book me for my partial or full planning services, which can make a huge saving.

Anyway I hope you find these tips helpful and do have a good look around for your perfect wedding celebrant.

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